Facing Demons

            The moon rises and sets, chasing the sun as it travels through the sky day in and day out, the only consistency in this existence filled with chaos. A young man wandered through the streets of Johnsonville, a small suburb of Seattle Washington. The sidewalk beneath his feet cracked in webs, crawling their way up and down the concrete as he went. The pedestrians he passed stared at him when he wasn’t looking and whispered to each other. He paid no attention as his footsteps fell quietly, dropping down to the asphalt from the curb. His black hood was up, protecting him from the outside world he longed to escape.

            He saw her everywhere. She smiled at him at the park, a beautiful woman sitting in the grass, the breeze blowing her long, brown hair across her face, not enough, though, to cover her blue eyes that shone in the sunlight. The man stopped as she stood up and began walking towards him, laughing, her long white dress dragging in the soft grass, her red pendent resting around her neck. His heart sank in his chest and his lungs fought for air as he stared in disbelief. An aura of sunlight radiated off of her as if she were an angel who fell from the sky. But angels who fell were not so beautiful and happy. She came up to him, only feet away and then suddenly disappeared before his vary eyes. He reached out to touch the air where she vanished and collapsed to his knees, tears trailing down his cheeks and dropping to the ground, splattering.

            A small crowd of familiar people gathered, whispering, should we talk to him, they’d ask. No, one would reply, he needs his space. He ignored them, standing up and walking away. He strolled through the lonely streets as the sun fell over the horizon, creating a swath of reds, oranges, yellows, and purples across the sky, coloring the clouds in a beautiful masterpiece only nature could provide. They used to sit on top of Three Man’s Hill and watch the sun set. He remembered how she would lean against him as they observed the wonders of nature together when the sun receded below the earth and allowed the stars and the moon to shine brightly where they were once so overpowered. What have I done? The thought echoed over and over again in his head as he wandered aimlessly through the small town he knew so well. He stopped in front of a small, light blue house. He observed the structure with a compelling desire to enter it just one last time. The porch light was on, fighting away the darkness. He could see from his spot on the sidewalk through the front door window into the kitchen where a man and a woman sat at the counter, staring at a photograph. He knew whose photo they were looking at.

            She opened the door and shut it behind her, staring at him, her red pendent glistening under the porch light. Her brown hair was messy as if she had been grabbing at it. Her eyes were wet with tears and her cheeks and nose were a rosy color. A pair of black jeans with rips going down the thighs covered her lower half while she hugged herself in her blue checkered flannel shirt. She screamed at him and pointed towards the road. He knew exactly what she was saying, even though he heard nothing.

            “I’m sorry!” He yelled in return, holding back a fresh wave of tears. “Please just let me explain, I didn’t know!” A group of children who were playing down the street stopped and stared at him. Their mother came outside and quickly called them in, giving him a nervous glance. The couple inside the house stood up quickly, completely caught off guard and locked eyes with him. She disappeared by that point, though, and it was only him and her family.

            “Brandon!” he heard the man yell, racing towards the door, but he was already on the move. He slid between two houses on the other side of the road and escaped the confrontation. An overwhelming sense of guilt welled up inside of his soul and he wasn’t sure if it was a feeling, he’d be able to survive. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have missed the signs? Looking back, they were so obvious to him now. He was supposed to care for her, he was supposed to know what she was going through.

            The cars passed by in the night, their headlights reflecting off the wet road as the rain trickled gently down from the sky in a light drizzle. The stars were gone now, and the moon struggled to peer down from above the dark rain clouds. Brandon was lost. Not physically, but emotionally. Living was incomprehensible for him. He couldn’t do it, not without her, without Celeste. All he could feel was the soft touch of her gentle hand on his cheek as they stared deeply into each other’s eyes. All he could think about was how they had spent every day together for the past two years, and how he would spend the rest of eternity without her. He glanced up to his right when a bright neon glare caught his attention. “Liquor” the sign read, the only thing in existence still glowing. He stepped inside the store and grabbed the first bottle he could get his hands on, not paying attention to the label or the price but just reveling in the small sense of pleasure its familiar weight provided him, a feeling that was so hard to come across now-a-days. He paid for the bottle and left, opening it instantaneously as he stepped outside.

            He made his way through the town, draining the bottle, until he came across a dark alley. He froze for a second staring into it. A few puddles gathered on the dirty ground, one of them trailing under the dumpster, flooding over broken liquor bottles scattered across the asphalt. Something in the far corner caught his attention. A silhouetted figure crouched, huddled against the wall. Brandon took two steps back, he couldn’t face this, not yet. He wasn’t ready. But then something stopped him, and drew him in. He obeyed as the force pulled him slowly into the alley towards the figure. It was her. It was Celeste. The angel of his dreams, now sitting in the corner of a dark alley crying in a puddle of dirty water.

            “Celeste.” He whispered, unable to produce any vocals louder than that. Her head flung up and he felt a sharp pain pierce his heart like a knife carving its way into his very existence. A black bruise was beginning to form under her right eye and her left cheek had a cut that was dripping blood down her face. Her bottom lip was swollen, and her teeth were stained red. Her dirty, raggedy clothes were ripped, and her red pendant lay on the ground, the chain broken.

            “How could they do this to you?” His voice faint.

            “Why didn’t you stop them?” Hers was powerful, resentful, angry, completely different from the soft gentle voice he remembered so well. He dropped the bottle, and it shattered on the ground, mixing in with the other shards of glass that were scattered across the alley.

            A wave of anger washed over him followed by self-pity and remorse. How could he ever have called those people his friends?  Why did he introduce her to them? “Ahh!” he screamed and punched the wall, breaking his skin open on contact and feeling the warm blood ooze down between his fingers and slowly drip down to the ground. He felt his bones shattered and out of place in his hand and the consequential searing pain that followed. That pain was nothing, though, in comparison to the hurt that exploded from a dark hole where he knew his heart should have been.

            She was gone now, and he was alone in the alley. He knew what he had to do. He knew where he needed to go. It was time to face his demons. His feet carried him through the winding roads as his mind drifted off. He couldn’t consciously bring himself to his final location, it was too hard. He was terrified to go back there, but it as the only way to find peace. The time passed slowly but pass it did and eventually he ended up at a lonely bridge, hundreds of feet above a fast-flowing river that carved its way through Mother Earth like a man’s vein carrying blood, his precious life source, to all parts of the body. He saw her, one last time. He knew it would be the last. Red and blue lights flashed across the night sky as a wall of cop cars appeared, blocking the bridge off. The officers stood by their cars, yelling at her as she stood at the edge of the bridge. Brandon stood off in the distance, watching helplessly as it all unfolded before his eyes for the first time. He wasn’t there for her before, but he was now. He could never bear to witness it. It was too much. He heard through the town gossip what was going on. Everyone knew. But he was weak.

            Things were different now, though. He had grown since the last time he saw her. He learned a thing or two about pain since she had left him and realized that nothing he had ever gone through before could compare to the throbbing agony he put her through. She turned around, facing him as the police shouted at her. I love you he saw her lips say. Her red pendant was fixed and rested on her neck once more and her white dress blew in the wind, the same white dress he saw her wearing at the park the first time they ever met. The day she greeted him happily like no one had ever done before. There was no pain in her eyes as she fell back and dropped into darkness, eventually hitting the water.

            The police cars vanished when she fell and he came to realize he was there, alone. He realized that he always had been. He walked up to the edge of the bridge and looked down. A tingling on the back of his neck caused him to turn around. She was there, far off by a group of trees, smiling at him. Her smile could have washed away all of his pain. It was the most beautiful thing on Earth. More beautiful than the sun sets. More beautiful than the full moon, lighting up the sky as it did that night. With that, he felt a wave of courage and realized it was now or never and stepped off the edge.

            The wind rushed up and around him, whipping his clothes around with its violent force and his stomach lurched. And then he felt free. The sense of weightlessness, the final sign that nothing was holding him back, that he could once more be happy. He couldn’t face the demons, not alone. Neither could Celeste. They were supposed to be there for each other, to face them together. There was only one way now to make that possible.

            The bright moon was the last thing he saw as he fell towards his eternal peace. He wasn’t able to face her, to look her in the eyes, even in a picture. But now he foresaw another future with her, in another place. Somewhere friendlier than here. He saw new memories where they could be happy again, where they could apologize to her for what he had done. Maybe he could make things right again. A weight was lifted off of his chest and for the first time in months, he smiled.